January 17, 2007

  • The Heavy Heart Has Not a Humble Tongue

    There's a woman who lives in Pittsburgh named Kathy Jo.  She has written copiously for years on usenet as "Whorella" among other pseudonyms, long rambling stream-of-consciousness posts that are in large part self-referential but also impassioned analyses of the "larger issues" of social justice that concern, or should concern, all of us.  She has had a couple of her own newsgroups, and has also posted on others such as alt.prisons.  She has had an extremely colorful life.  She's a real character, absolutely fearless and uncensored.  I used to read her regularly, and still do from time to time.  Sometimes Whorella makes complete sense to me, while at other times I think she's over the top.

    There was one exchange between her and another woman on alt.prisons that struck me as quite profound.  It's relevant to far more than just prisons.  I reprint it here in its entirety.  Read it at your peril.  If you don't like long posts or stream-of-consciousness monologues or profanity in the service of a greater wisdom, then it's not for you.

    **********
    > Newsgroups: alt.prisons
    > From: "Linda C." <l...@wolfstar.com>
    > Date: Sun, 8
    Sep 2002 15:13:58 -0400
    > Subject: Re: love
    >
    > Whorella,
    >
    > Maybe if you'd leave the anger outside the room where
    your keyboard resides
    > someone would have some compassion and respond. 
    Personally, I think you're
    > so full of hate and anger that nothing I might have to
    say would make a
    > difference.  Your language is vulgar and offensive
    to me.  Maybe no one else
    > will tell you that but whatever compassion I might have
    for your situation
    > is lost because of the energy you are projecting. 
    There are many people in
    > this world who are hurting and they do it in a quiet,
    gentle way.  Those are
    > usually the people who get offers of help.  Maybe
    you need to see yourself
    > as you present yourself to others in order to see what
    the real problem is.
    > I wish you healing!

     
    > Newsgroups: alt.prisons
    > From: "Federal Bureau of Blowing Whorella"
    <blow...@verizon.net>
    > Date: Thu, 12
    Sep 2002 20:26:58 GMT
    > Subject: A HEAVY HEART HAS NOT A HUMBLE TONGUE
    >
    > this is the one place i thought people would understand
    anger.
    > outrage.  and they would if only i wouldn't swear.
    >
    > but no ... we have the language cop here telling me
    she'd offer
    > her unlimited advice if only i'd stop offending her
    with what is
    > my normal behavior. i had no idea this group would be
    so white
    > so i'm sorry if that makes me sound racist but dubyah
    please.
    >
    > and she's offended? tell me how to act? no that's not
    offensive,
    > just offering advice in love and kindness. well keep
    it. please.
    > or start swearing and maybe i'll be your friend
    > and let you help me. but obviously you have nothing to
    offer me anyway.
    >
    > you'll deny that you tried to tell me how to act,
    > only that if i want help, i better change how i act
    > and not be so offensive. on alt. prisons.
    > it's always for our own good, right fellahs? ain't it?
    >
    > i thought it would take way more to offend someone
    here.
    > so sensitive. but if people won't help me because i
    swear,
    > they don't have the kind of help i need anyway.
    >
    > do you know without anger, nothing in this world would
    change?
    > that jesus overturned the tables of the money changers.
    angry.
    > guess they nailed his ass to the cross for telling the
    sanhedrin
    > to blow him and get their money out of the temple.
    > they still haven't learned that lesson. funny, ain't
    it?
    >
    > did you know that one generation's profanity is
    another's nonprofanity?
    > christ you couldn't say 'bra' without people blushing
    20 years ago
    > and they used to do gyne examinations while a woman was
    fully dressed
    > with her leg on a stole while a doctor stuck his hand
    in her
    > with his head turned the other way? shit now they dope
    you up fuck you
    > and charge you for it. crazy world but don't swear.
    >
    > and no most doctors are fine or some so you can't judge
    them all.
    > but when it comes to the justice system it will. not
    just a criminal.
    > i mean this guy has a life and family so we don't want
    to put him in jail.
    > but if you have nothing to lose, too bad. so on one
    hand they say,
    > we don't want to ruin the good people but "jails
    are not bad".
    >
    > cicero, that dirty ancient bastard, said a woman should
    lay her modesty
    > aside with her petticoats before making love. i agree
    completely. that was
    > considered profane.
    >
    > shakespeare swore. i mean the list of writers in the
    english
    > canon .... can you imagine DH lawrence without
    profanity?
    > the list is endless. it's not that swearing that makes
    it good,
    > it's the honesty that reaches through the boundaries
    > that separate us by stupid shit like whether we swear.
    > as if it means we have some kind of self-restraint.
    >
    > i don't demand others swear like i do
    > and yet it's still totally kosher to work the other way
    > because the default on 'good' is on the clean mouthed.
    > but by who? netiquette? telling me how to act. no.
    >
    > i don't want my word usage restrained by someone else's
    sensitivity
    > when we lived in a world drenched with profanity.
    > i saw a burger king commercial with the guy driving
    along
    > acting like his wife is about to go down on him ... a
    commercial.
    >
    > so poor darling nancy,
    i'm truly sorry you're so sensitive.
    > with this heathen world, you mustn't be able to even
    watch a movie
    > without being offended. you are over the age of 10,
    right?
    >
    > LINDA, YOU KNOW THEY USED TO FUCKING LOCK PEOPLE UP FOR
    SWEARING?
    > you'd be down for that. you would. fascism is always so
    modestly dressed.
    > polite.
    > not swearing is about respect. no. telling me how to
    act according to your
    > values,
    > that's tyranny, which has been blowing me since the
    dawn of man
    > and i still haven't gotten off. man.
    >
    > and poor linda is probably flabbergasted 'well i'm the
    most well liked
    > person on this group and i'm just the nicest little
    thing and how can
    > whorella be mean to me since i'm so above any behavior
    i could be criticized
    > for? i just said i was offended by her. not attacking
    her."
    >
    > they are the same no matter what rhetorical tricks you
    use to work around
    > it. i read it all. brecht. orwells great piece on
    jargon and speech and the
    > ways we use speech to hide what we're doing. i know ...
    how people try and
    > work on you. but i'm not supposed to be pissed. phew.
    >
    > i don't know how you live in this world if you can't
    deal with
    > the most basic profanity. seriously. i pity you.
    >
    > remember silence of the lamb "i can smell your
    cunt'
    >
    > chef fucking brocket from the neighborhood of make
    believe, was the guy in
    > that movie. a lot of it was filmed in pittsburgh.
    he swore. even though fred
    > rogers
    never did when i worked for him.
    >
    > yeah. i answered fred's fan mail and didn't swear
    because it wouldn't have
    > been right.
    >
    > but on alt.prison? you gotta blow me while everyone
    watches.
    >
    > no swearing please
    >
    > get the fuck out ... man. that is so funny
    > tell me how to act out here.
    >
    > your compassion? angry people can't swear
    > or it interferes with your compassion?
    > i have to pass some test to earn your concern?
    > then it becomes worthless. and no. i'm not treating
    > you with respect now. sure your tone was mild
    > compared to mine but i will not respect those
    > who have none for me. i call it 'kissing ass' and i
    won't do it.
    >
    > fuck you and your compassion. how's that?
    > all about love are we? as long as i maintain your
    standard of speech?
    > so you're like the language warden here? assembly of
    god member maybe?
    >
    > if you truly cared, you would have ignored the language
    and helped me,
    > right?
    > saw that 'this child is obviously hurting so much it
    has overflowed into
    > anger'
    >
    > isn't that what christ said? what you do for the people
    who use bad
    > language,
    > you do for me?
    >
    > but no. not worthy. i swore.
    > seriously you made my day.
    > alt.prison. i heard it on the pearl jam group
    > even though eddie vedder swears all the time.
    > it's okay if rock stars to do it. funny.
    >
    >  i don't see how you other people get through the
    day without being outraged
    > but as long as we have the language and emotion police
    to keep us in line
    > we can continue grabbing our ankles and taking whatever
    the bush family and
    > their flunkies
    > stick up us. until we get to like it. thank jesus for
    our many blessings.
    > like KY jelly: TV
    >
    > MY HEART IS BREAKING and all you see is that i'm
    swearing?
    > if your help is conditional on accepting your standards
    ... that's coercion.
    > plain and simple.
    >
    > so no, i wasn't looking for someone to tell me how to
    act.
    > but for an ex-con who understands these things of
    loving a man in jail.
    >
    > or do they all stop swearing when they get out of jail
    > and fear my anger so they back off. so scared of little
    old me.
    > finally servile. finally beat.
    > boy they are improving things at the DOC.
    >
    > prisons are making bigger pussies out of convicts than
    i thought.
    > boy that george bush must get great ideas while golfing
    >
    > HELLO HELLO IS THIS THING WORKING CAN YOU HEAR ME?
    >
    > we are living in the midst of an atrocity
    > men turned into animals in the name of morality and
    corrections
    >
    > but oh no, we wouldn't want to raise our voices.
    > won't voice our outrage.
    > we might offend someone.
    >
    > well this world offends me.
    > we tolerate poverty but not profanity.
    > we walk over the homeless
    > but if only they were more like us,
    > we'd help. but they're not so they can lay there and
    die.
    > who gives a fuck? it's all their fault.
    >
    > fuck that.
    >
    > 'THE HEAVY HEART HAS NOT A HUMBLE TONGUE'
    >         william
    shakespeare from love's labour's lost
    >
    > that's the whole problem with liberals. sooo polite.
    > offering so much but demanding so much more than they
    offer.
    >
    > all these poor people are getting fucked right in the
    bumbum (see how i
    > didn't say "ass" because i'm good)
    > in menial low paying jobs and get sick of it and go off
    doing wild shit.
    > then they're animals. bad criminals. but oh we care.
    yes we do.
    > we care about showing the world how fucking caring we
    are.
    > and caring people don't get angry. that would make them
    > like the animals they care so much about.
    >
    > if only we could get the bad people to act like us good
    people,
    > then everything would be fine! yeah! and if they don't,
    we'll leave them
    > to starve and shit. but hey we tried.
    >
    > and then, after that, don't expect the discarded to be
    pissed
    > or the compliant to not be pissed that they are forced
    to lie
    > and supplicate themselves for the pleasure of a meal
    consisting of rotten
    > meat.
    >
    > and we're talking about profanity.
    >
    > 1 out of 7 people are being sentenced to death although
    they're innocent.
    > but don't swear. don't get angry. no one will listen.
    >
    > WELL YOU'RE WRONG. YOU'RE TALKING TO THE WRONG PEOPLE.
    > FUCK THE LEGISLATORS. WE NEED TO REACH THE BEER
    DRINKERS.
    > THE FUCKING LOSERS WHO DON'T VOTE.
    > THEY'LL HEAR THIS. THEY'LL PAY ATTENTION TO THIS.
    > AND THEY WELL GET PISSED. AND THEY WILL ... VOTE!!!
    > and then ... the shit will hit the fucking fan.
    >
    > it's coming ... it is ...
    >
    > people are pissed. they understand the swearing.
    > and they're just words. my god.
    > i refuse to surrender my anger.
    > it has saved my life.
    >
    > i have never struck another human being
    > but ... if i saw someone being hurt,
    > i would. sure. i think ... there are times
    > that life demands it. sure, you can stand there and die
    > like christ ... but now we love martyrs who fly
    airplanes into buildings
    > because they love god so much and think to die for god
    is so great so ...
    > jesus.
    >
    > aw ... this world is magic and green and the sun warms
    like an embrace and
    > god just the sound of water slipping over rocks wants
    me to make love to the
    > whole world but i can not understand the pettiness and
    the anger of the
    > world although i know i participate but i just can not
    see not trying to ...
    > demand more of this unlimited Eden
    if it weren't for fear ... and yet ...
    > people ... whew ...such willing victims ... and i see
    how it happens through
    > weapons of emotional control ... and shaming us for
    feeling angry or jealous
    > when we see how little we have while others have so
    much, we're taught to
    > blame ourselves and turn our shame on ourselves in a
    variety of forms of
    > self destruction or addiction.
    >
    > not this whore. no shame. i lived with it for years.
    being raped and
    > honestly feeling like i deserved it. you watch jody
    foster in the accused,
    > that was my life. doctor fingering me like he's trying
    to fuck me while
    > asking details. an hour after i was raped. big nice
    doctor, right? just a
    > rapist with a mask. dick.
    >
    > so ... they say profanity is only for people too stupid
    to find a way to
    > articulate themselves intelligently. tell that to saul
    bellows or
    > christopher hitchens or alice
    walker. please. don't swear. only means you're
    > stupid. don't even fucking try it with me.
    >
    > and nancy,
    don't be angry and swear at me.
    > you're the bigger person. man it must get lonely up
    there.
    > it gets mighty lonely down here, too.
    >
    > but you have to rise above this response
    > and don't say suck my dick or anything.
    > and to further protect yourself from other things that
    might offend you,
    > don't watch tv or someone might say a naughty word.
    > oh and don't be mad on a prison group.
    >
    > my boyfriend was killed in there. murdered.
    > and you deny me an emotional vehicle to express my
    outrage?
    > ew ... it's mind control at its most heinous form
    > disguised as civility. it's fucking gross. really.
    >
    > or maybe you lost someone in prison
    > and have rose above it and don't swear or get upset.
    > i swear to god i owe it to timmy to never surrender
    > my outrage in what happened to him.
    >
    > i never avenged his killer.
    > i was a fucking full-time on-the-masthead journalist at
    the time.
    > i had access to every document about it.
    > but i knew whoever got caught,
    > would go to the electric chair.
    > and i would have nothing to do with it. no way.
    >
    > so no. i didn't avenge his death that way.
    > i'm not vengeful. but i am outraged.
    > there is a difference. there really is.
    > timmy's not the only one.
    > one year as many people were killed in that prison
    > as in the whole city. yeah. yeah. i'm angry.
    >
    > angry. i hate that word. how they sterilize the
    outrage.
    > no. i'm not angry. people are dying. and i'm fucking
    pissed.
    >
    > or convicts dying in prison, just one of life's
    mysteries i guess.
    > that shouldn't piss you off. part of god's plan.
    > say the serenity prayer:
    >
    > god, grant me the serenity to blow the people i have to
    blow,
    > to get the people who have to blow me, to do it right
    > and the wisdom to remember i'm the only one who can do
    it right anyway.
    >
    > anger does not always lead to violence
    > but some of you will never understand that.

Comments (47)

  • I strongly suspect, but cannot right out come out and claim Whorella to be no woman, but a gay male with a pseudonym of "Kathy Jo". But I do stand by my assertion that George W Bush is the flesh-and-blood antichrist predicted in Revelation who will "bring on" Armageddon. If he gets Israel to sign something saying that the Palestinians can have their own country, run for your life!

  • long but good post :)   have a great day!!!

  • Excellent point to be made.

  • I think they're both morons.

    The first one is getting all pissy about people swearing.

    The second one is getting pissy at people who are getting all pissy for reasons other than the ones she wants.

  • woah. long post, but a quick read and very honest. i love stream-of-thought writing like this. i guess i'm gonna have to look her up.

  • Wow! She answered fan mail for Mr. Rogers? *grins*

    I got tired of reading it three-quarters of the way through, but what I did read was pretty good...she does outrage well, at least.

  • Wow. Something to think about.

  • Pretty interesting John.  She makes some really valid points.  I've never been one to sit by and not voice an opinion so I know where she's coming from, but screaming profanities is as effective as sitting silently at times.  I do like her style.

  • Written poetically. Reminds me of Ruby Fruit Jungle for some reason. As a person who is physically small I can agree with her on some points. A big person or a man with a deep voice or anyone who flashed around money gets noticed instantly and maybe hard work and being decent will pay off for some and they will get noticed but others are just expected to take the "bum" rap and be quiet about it.

  • I love "her" writing style and pull no punches vocabulary/attitude. I think I'm going to have to start reading her.

  • Just coming to say hello!  See ya!

  • I read the entire thing.  I've always been told that using profanity is a sign of someone without a good vocabulary, but sometimes nothing else works.  I've been known to use it myself.  "Kathy Jo" is definitely hurting and sincere about getting her message across.  I say let her say it the way she needs to say it.

  • Profanity is juvenile, period. The anger that goes with it is also a juvenile emotionally undeveloped response.

  • Ha, I always laugh when people say profanity is a sign of lacking vocabulary.

  • ryc:  i am working at a magazine distributor now....not much fun, but it pays the bills (sorta)

  • All else aside, I'd say the majority of the time, someone who's using profanity doesn't think about where the word comes from. Would people talk about "shit" if every time they said the word, fecal matter came to mind?

  • Trying to pretend that I can have what/who I want.

  • I think this is a good post.  Well, I mean the thoughts written by one or the other of these two.  I had a hard time keeping up with the different voices and who was who.  Over all good points were made.  ryc  I wanted to make a point that it wasn't 5 round-trips.  2 round trips and a one way.  The last time I stayed out here.

  • usually people who use a lot of profanity do so because they dont have a grasp of the english language, , , when i was into learning spanish and i heard a word i suspected was profanity, , , i never bothered to check its meaning, , , people were surprised i never used any profanity in spanish, , , and more surprised i didnt know any, , , still dont.

    hahahaha, , , not to mean i have a grasp of the spanish language, , , my english is a little better.

    anyway, , , i agree with kevin on this one.

    and no, , , profanity doesnt bother me, , , if thats all you can think of to say, , , go for it, , ,

    i dont really mean you, , , i mean him/her.

  • Well Hello there stranger! How have you been? Just dropped in to see whats up!

  • I think the one who was mild was acidly patronizing and the one who sprinkled her thoughts with profanity was dead on...she nailed the first woman who deserved it.

  • RYC: I'm the youngest of three. Oldest is a sister. She ran away and married young. Next my brother, me afterwards. My brother did get beat too, though I got the worst of it.  He took it really hard and hates my father to this day. They don't speak. He did okay for himself in the world of animation. We really don't talk much. We call each other every few years. We're kind of weird that way.

  • ryc: Thanks for the suggestions John. I wasn't clear in my story, in that I did get de-icer to remove the ice. The problem was, and still is, that the mechanism in the door that "wraps" around the anchor to seal  the door when you close it, has locked in a position that won't allow closure. Normally, flipping the door handle and pulling on the mechanism fixes it, as it did for one of the doors finally.

    The second door is in need of replacement, according to two mechanics. My trusty Automobile Repairs For Dummies let me down for the first time here.

    The car is on it's last legs. I'm just staying with it as long as possible. I've learned a great deal on how to fix pieces of crap. I still need to work on my emotional responses though... :-d  

    Peace
     
    Scott

  • RYC---Did you notice that Malcolm NEVER got into violence, and with the exception of offing him, the Nation of Islam was always into obeying the law???

    Whorella sounds like one of my alter-egos  [Seriously, i once did a woman like that on Blog-it that was number 2 on their MATURE site...got booted off when i did an Eminem post about #1 while she was on vacation...hence the name]

  • Damn, you're right! I should go back to being a hollow shell of a predictable misanthrope, merely using people for my own entertainment in superficial ways and writing non-enriching works!

    Gee thanks, John!

  • Yanno... I "try" to refrain from swearing.. but certain people and situations just bring it out of me...

    Kinda like George Dubya... I still think he's a dickhead.

    justayin.......

  • Thanks for your reply. Yes attention does get paid to my angst by hubby. But he feels more helpless than anything because most things I should just do for myself and there is nothing he can do. Then I just make him feel bad. A lot. The going back to NZ thing is on the cards - supposedly 2008 - I just don't have patience for it. I want to go now. I am sick of it here and the whole culture shock thing. I never thought it would effect me (affect?) this way but...

    As for kickboxing and horse riding - I just have no way to get there or pay for lessons right now if I want to save enough to get back home.

    Anyways thanks for the concern but mostly I just had to vent somewhere and I am sick of blowing up at hubby...even though in away I still am because he reads it.

  • im taking baby steps i never really thought of how to overcome boredom i havent got to that yet.stay blessed john

  • ryc: lacking is a fine word.

  • a friend said this book made them think about me.
    so they lended it to me and recommended it.

    im getting a feeling that this book is very contriversially viewed.

  • ryc: i'm well aware there are other words i could use. but "lacking" is fine.

  • You, my friend, always find the most interesting stuff.

    I came by to see if you mind me linking to this blog from my website (katybaxter.com). It used to be my coaching website, but I'm making it into something for all readers from xanga, newsvine, and digg...kind of a hub almost. if you mind, let me know :)

  • hey triplet thanks for the idea to end my boredom, but i dont think i know any old people, do you have any more ideas? stay blessed

  • You'll be happy to know .... that Lawrence Ferlinghetti, owner of the City Lights Bookstore .... is alive and well and so is his bookstore. My first place in the city ... not counting my friend's place where I crashed for two or three days ... was two blocks away from City Lights, so I was there quite frequently. In 1957, when Jim Morrison was a 9th grade son of an officer stationed at Alameda Naval Base, also frequented the bookstore.

  • I don't have a problem reading the type of piece you describe but I'll have to come back and do it, so I don't get fired and have nothing to split up! ;)

    Ryc: John, there is nothing wrong with dividing income up. I just don’t feel like it’s even close to doing enough, and right now I’m simply dividing and sharing on a whim. I don’t know what I’m doing, obviously.
    I also don’t plan to work my ass off and give it all away. It would be a special person that would do that, but it ain’t me. :-d
    I guess I want some great idea to be dropped from the sky.
     
    I APPRECIATE YOUR IDEAS. I like the idea of spiritual compound interest.
     
    Not the same, but some similarities to the movie “Pay It Forward” maybe?
     
    Now THAT would be cool. (Except we don’t want children dying)
     
    Later
     
    Peace
     
    Scott

  • enjoyed the post. enough to join xanga (again) and let you know just how much - you may delete me (of course).

    Very interesting to see the development of your blog -  I like it. a.. lot.. :)

    This post is quite profound.  read it a week ago, and it hung with me. Thus the response. I can also understand why some cannot relate. Personally i found the text riveting, and look forward to reading more from her/him (does it really matter?) - even though it may put me in contact with the "criminal mind" hahaha

    I have always enjoyed our "debates" - no matter what corner we were fighting from.

    Take care 

  • if they are taking reservations, , , im sure i have one, , , doubt if its heaven tho.

  • "Just something you're interested in?"

    yea, , , not especially them, , , thats like being interested in exxon, , , its only business, , , im interested in the way the govt is/isnt handling it, , and i lived in nuevo laredo for 8 yrs, , , so that was about the conversation, , , and it gives me something to post besides video game scores.

  • Ok, I get it. Helping people should not be based on their being a "kinder/gentler" person or their use/non-use of profanity. Like I've said before...God, protect us from your followers. Being a Christian, which I am, doesn't mean helping and loving only the lovable. Look who Jesus hung with!

    Glo

  • RYC: Thank you. And please feel free to stop by again anytime. Take Care. And again your prayers are highly appreciated. I am humbled to think that a stranger would pray for me...

  • wow, okay, i just now got the chance to sit & read that entire post. Powerful. That's about all I can muster up to say. Thanks for sharing it though.

  • ryc  a ring, a crown......I will be thrilled just to be there.

  • ryc: Everyone's a cocksucker to me.

  • ryc:  really?  hmm, i'd be interested in hearing your side of this.

  • thanx for the anwser to my question, you are a really deep thinker. stay blessed

  • ryc: thanks for the advice. i appreciate it. and i am feeling badly today looking back at home i responded to her and behavied........that's not like me. i'm usually quiet and passive. i have to be pushed very far to respond that way. but i guess the point is, i dont care how far i get pushed, i dont want to continue responding that way to anyone. ya know? well again thanks for the advice. take care!! hope you're having a great weekend!

  • ryc: John, I left you a PM here at xanga about your most recent comment. =)

    Ciao

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