July 16, 2008
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Recession Analysis
Having lost roughly 10% of my life's savings in the last month alone, I'm in a positively giddy mood.
Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In
July 14, 2008 | Issue 44 o 29WASHINGTON--A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress
about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide
Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble
in which to invest."What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy,
but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very
immediate future," said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins
Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. "We are in a crisis,
and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."
The current economic woes, brought on by the collapse of the so-called
"housing bubble," are considered the worst to hit investors since the
equally untenable dot-com bubble burst in 2001. According to investment
experts, now that the option of making millions of dollars in a short
time with imaginary profits from bad real-estate deals has disappeared,
the need for another spontaneous make-believe source of wealth has
never been more urgent."Perhaps the new bubble could have something to do with watching movies
on cell phones," said investment banker Greg Carlisle of the New York
firm Carlisle, Shaloe & Graves. "Or, say, medicine, or shipping. Or
clouds. The manner of bubble isn't important -- just as long as it
creates a hugely overvalued market based on nothing more than whimsical
fantasy and saddled with the potential for a long-term accrual of debts
that will never be paid back, thereby unleashing a ripple effect that
will take nearly a decade to correct.""The U.S. economy cannot survive on sound investments alone," Carlisle
added.Congress is currently considering an emergency economic-stimulus
measure, tentatively called the Bubble Act, which would order the
Federal Reserve to begin encouraging massive private investment in
some fantastical financial scheme in order to get the nation's false
economy back on track.<end excerpt from http://www.theonion.com/
content/node/82504 >
Comments (7)
lol... I love the onion.
one of the times i wished i couldnt say, i told you so,,,, may not have told you personally,,, but,,, id guess i have,,, and i cant help but go on a rant about it every so often on my site,,,
ill even less eager to come back and tell you later,,, i told you so,,, but its gonna get worse,,, a lot worse,,,
maybe i wont be able to come back and tell you i told you so,,, i may not have a computer by that time,,, these things arent free you know,,, hahahahaha,,, vincente,,, i know you dont know him just stopped by,,, he said,,, payday,,, you gonna fix your car? hahahahaha,,, i felt like slapping the silly moron out of the chair he was sitting in,,,,
no i aint fixing no stinking car,,, im going to feed my family,,, as long as i can..... the car can sit there and rot as far as im concerned,,,
hahahaha,,, it would be nice to have it running,,, but not a necessity,,,
yea,,, itll get worse,, a lot worse,,, the immediate problem is spelled c h i n a.
to recover from that will take no less than a miricle,,,and as far as i can see,,, no one is even admitting its a problem yet.
inferior products,,, (my hair buzzers dulled after about 2 uses,,, and they are wahl,,, used to be a good brand didnt they?)
inferior products that quit working after a couple of uses,,, if they last that long,,, no money to replace them,,, hahahahahahaha,,, soon we will be a nation of thingless people.
oh well,,, maybe china will buy our rice to make ethenol out of ,,,,,
is that kind of a flip flop? hahahahahahahaha
whats a sound investment??? mcdonalds??? the only currently surviving industry,,,, however,,, big macs will soon be on par with the tbone of yesterday,,, people wont be able to afford them,,,
hasta la vista mcdonald,,,,,,,,
i can guarantee you,,,, if i knew a crowd was gathering,,, to march on washington,,, and,,, not protest,,,, take it back,,,, me and airforce1 would be found in the crowd.
put them all out,,,
no,,, i dont believe im in violation of tos,,,, im not suggesting revolution,,, im suggesting resolution,,, of the problem,,,,
a strike for america,,, not against it,,,, those in command have made enough strikes against it.....
no weapons needed,,,, well,,, maybe gas masks,,, im sure the opposition will be using weapns,,, i aint scared of weapons,,, hahahahahahaha
i better just shut up,,,,
good post.
Chin up, John. This peaks my interest. I'm gonna read up on it. Thanks.
"Congress is currently considering an emergency economic-stimulus
measure, tentatively called the Bubble Act, which would order the
Federal Reserve to begin encouraging massive private investment in
some fantastical financial scheme in order to get the nation's false
economy back on track."
The thing about the Onion is sometimes it's too true to be funny.
Regarding how I'm doing on #3, I'm still working on it. I've been so swamped with other things I had to put it on the back burner. I've got about 10 days of my subs to read and my house is a construction zone but I'll let you know when I get a chance. Want the job?
I lost over ten thousand of my retirement. I have given up even checking it because it is too depressing. But the war profiteers are doing well. At least I still have my soul.
Just dropin' by with some Xanga love for ya John!
I miss talkin' to ya, let's catch up soon!
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