November 9, 2008

• Bill Maher's Incisive Humor: New Rule for Hard-Core Republicans and their Fellow Travelers

  Here's the link to the text below.  You can also watch the video of Maher's entire comedy routine.

  http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/heather/real-time-hard-core-republican-base-stalke

  From Real Time Nov. 7, 2008. New Rules.

  And finally, New Rule:  Now that you've lost, Republicans
  have to agree not to waste everyone's time spending the next four years
  screaming for investigations of Barack Obama over made up bulls#*t.
  Let's not kid ourselves. The hard core Republican base is like a
  stalker. Rejection just makes them crazier. You think Matt Drudge was a
  vindictive p#%ck before. His headline Wednesday morning was Senior Citizen and Woman Beaten By Black Man. [...] And wait till you see Ann Coulter's new book How to Field Dress a Liberal.

  You know there's loyal opposition and then there's just
  opposition. Let's not do the 90's again except for the part where we
  have peace and prosperity. You know there was an entire industry back
  then dedicated to making Bill Clinton's life miserable over expensive
  hair cuts and old land deals and the Lincoln Bedroom and getting blown.
  But this ain't the 90's.

  We've got two wars, a melting planet and the only thing
  keeping the economy from total collapse is Sarah Palin's shopping
  sprees. But you know what phrase I don't want to hear used
  frivolously for the next four years whenever Barack Obama forgets to
  put the kids in the car seat? Disrespect for the rule of law. Dick
  Cheney ordered prisoners tortured by name. That ship has sailed.

  I don't want to hear Sean Hannity say that "Barack Obama
  announced that his daughters will be getting a puppy. A puppy from
  where? Probably a chihuahua that came in from Mexico illegally. And how
  do we know this isn't a dog that pals around with terriers?"

  You know, when Obama starts a preemptive war and then
  f%#ks it up and makes torture our official policy and outs a CIA agent
  and purges US Attorneys and tries to put his cleaning lady on the
  Supreme Court and doesn't act on global warming and appoints at the
  head of FEMA an ex-d*#do salesman who was his college roommate, you
  know, that kind of stuff, believe me I'll be with you.

  But until then I don't want to see Republicans freaking
  out if Obama isn't singing the National Anthem loud enough or they find
  out he gets his suits made in France. If he puts a moon roof in the
  Presidential limo, he's not making himself Fuehrer. He's just trying to
  get the smell of stupidity out of the seats. And mostly I don't want to
  hear about ACORN. Your guy lost by eight million votes. Just because
  you don't know any black people doesn't mean they don't exist.

  So that's it. No Special Prosecutors. No trumped up
  investigations. If Republicans really want to look into something
  for the next four years, my suggestion, try a mirror.

  • 5:49 pm
  • 11 Comments