January 27, 2009

  • On a Lighter and Less Political Note...

    This is definitely one of the strangest personals ads I've ever seen.  I found it on craigslist under "Women Seeking Men", and it's entitled "Undead War - 21".

    Hi! I'm a senior at the University of ********. If only that were as exciting as
    it got. Let me tell you a bit about my life. I am one of the last surviving
    members of a team of vampire hunting Asian women dedicated to the cause of
    righting the wrongs caused by undead creatures.

    It's important you
    listen, you single white male and/or single Asian male. I need a new lookout. It
    used to be girls only, but now this shit is real and we need someone tall enough
    to actually see over tall objects. If you're not at least 5'10", don't waste my
    time. You won't be able to see shit and we might as well get more short girl
    lookouts. It's also pretty important that you be slender as a lookout is very
    likely to need to hide behind random objects now and then. Look, sometimes the
    job's not pretty. Other times, your responsibilities will include looking nice
    at social gatherings with our targets. You'll need to be able to keep up with
    appearances while you aid in our mission. Wit, charm and the ability to be quick
    on the toes as things change will go a long way here.

    Remember: This is
    no game. We're here to fight vampires. After a long day of murdering
    blood-sucking undead creatures, I probably just want a shower, not a hug.
    Nothing personal, but some days it takes hours to get that gunk out from under
    my nails and I don't want to get it on you, especially if you just did a
    fantastic job. Don't rub it in when you save my ass from Cerberus, okay?

    Your assistance will be greatly appreciated. If you're interested in
    helping in the battle against the undead terrors of the night, you should
    definitely write to join the fight.

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