January 27, 2009
-
On a Lighter and Less Political Note...
This is definitely one of the strangest personals ads I've ever seen. I found it on craigslist under "Women Seeking Men", and it's entitled "Undead War - 21".
Hi! I'm a senior at the University of ********. If only that were as exciting as
it got. Let me tell you a bit about my life. I am one of the last surviving
members of a team of vampire hunting Asian women dedicated to the cause of
righting the wrongs caused by undead creatures.It's important you
listen, you single white male and/or single Asian male. I need a new lookout. It
used to be girls only, but now this shit is real and we need someone tall enough
to actually see over tall objects. If you're not at least 5'10", don't waste my
time. You won't be able to see shit and we might as well get more short girl
lookouts. It's also pretty important that you be slender as a lookout is very
likely to need to hide behind random objects now and then. Look, sometimes the
job's not pretty. Other times, your responsibilities will include looking nice
at social gatherings with our targets. You'll need to be able to keep up with
appearances while you aid in our mission. Wit, charm and the ability to be quick
on the toes as things change will go a long way here.Remember: This is
no game. We're here to fight vampires. After a long day of murdering
blood-sucking undead creatures, I probably just want a shower, not a hug.
Nothing personal, but some days it takes hours to get that gunk out from under
my nails and I don't want to get it on you, especially if you just did a
fantastic job. Don't rub it in when you save my ass from Cerberus, okay?Your assistance will be greatly appreciated. If you're interested in
helping in the battle against the undead terrors of the night, you should
definitely write to join the fight.
Comments (8)
Wow. She is providing a real service to those of us whose lives have been affected by the undead. I applaud her vocation.
So, did you send her your profile info? What's the prognosis?
Ummm.....ohhhh kay. With that well-written "ad", I'm sure she will have her pick of men willing to fight the undead to protect all of us who are plagued with vampires. Maybe she can hook up with the dude who was selling a used coffin on Ebay to put the vampire in once they succeed in locating it.
I'm sure her target audience will love it. They'll probably have a BBQ wedding.
hahahaha,,, drat it,,, im too short,,, as evident by my videos,,,
oh well,,, i view weird wolves as a bigger danger anyway,,,,
@blonde_apocalypse - I'm tall enough but I'm too fat, so I didn't even bother to contact the woman. She needs a slender guy who can hide beyond random objects, remember.
Sounds like my kind of girl...UBERimaginative
It's time for another dose of wisdom now. Nudge.
Comments are closed.