January 6, 2006
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Slight Alteration in Format
I think the pressures of success have been getting to Theologian Dan lately. In his need/desire to post two or three "thought-provoking" questions a day, his questions have grown increasingly jejune. Or is that just my perception?
At the same time, I like many things about his format. I appreciate readers' comments, and of course the best way to elicit them is to give them something to think about and respond to. So I'm going to try to do a bit of that. Not to get eProps or appear on Featured Content, but just to express a few of my thoughts, solicit yours, and get a conversation going. I won't do this all the time, but I'll mix it in with other stuff.
I'll start with an observation of my own, and posit a question or questions related to it. After receiving your feedback, I may or may not respond in an "Edit" with my own thoughts again.
To start off, one of my observations in life is that there are basically two kinds of people in the world: those with too much to do, and those with not enough to do. The person who finds that exquisite balance between the two is quite rare. Of course, a lot of it is age-dependent; parents with young children are definitely busier than elderly retired folks.
Anyway...which kind of person are you? Which kind of person would you rather be? Would you rather burn out or rust out? And most importantly, what secrets have you discovered, if any, that enable you to be more balanced in terms of having plenty to keep you occupied, while still preserving some time to "smell the roses"?
Comments (23)
I'm both. My life is like bungee jumping. Sometimes I'm at the bottom and am bored out of my mind and at other times I am high up, high spirits, lots to do, lots of ambition. And inbetween there are the falls and climbs. Life is never steady and never will be. It's always an up and down process, unless you reach enlightenment maybe.
The balance is in appreciating both, the high and the low, seeing that when you're in the low you won't be stuck there forever, just like the pressure and stress of the busy high will wear off at some point.
I prefer neither of the two. Like most people probably, and apparently like yourself, too, I would like to be somewhere in between, no extremes. But then, upon honest consideration, I reach the conclusion that constant balance can feel very shallow and boring, too. So, actually I'm quite happy with life swinging between the extremes. It always stays interesting that way.
When there's nothing to do it may be time to relax. Or it may be time to set new goals, come up with new ideas, gather new strength and ambition to take action. When you're bored you can take that as a sign of needing something new to do. The time of under-occupation is near its end then, provided you realize that it's time to start acting again. Just get yourself busy with whatever seems worth doing at the time. Sometimes we're not motivated and would prefer to just remain where we are. We have a saying here: "You get hungry while you're eating." Meaning that the zeal may come just a little after you have gotten up and started working on something. That is something I have in fact often observed with myself. We set the limits.
Often what keeps us from doing something is what we imagine it to be like. We think that something may be unpleasant or boring, like cleaning for instance. And then while you're at it, maybe put some music in the stereo, at some point you start having fun and soon look at what you accomplished and feel a little proud. For you it may be something as trivial as going for a walk. The limitation isn't really your back, it's in your head and in your capacity to blow things out of proportion before anything is even happening.
And when things get too busy... well, take a shovel, metaphorically speaking, and make room, dig away the mountain of work and ask for help. Sometimes there's nothing better and easier to do than saying that you need a breather and simply take a break, take time off. When everything gets too much and piles up over your head it may help to just retreat, find new inspiration, do something entirely different and get your mind off every-day things. And when you get back the pile of work doesn't look so big anymore.
I have always been busy ,and prefer it. It has to do with my personality. I do not like leisure. Please never ask me to just hang out and relax, thats just my idea of being alone with my restless self.I wish I had less out and out work in my life...you know tedious boring work ,but I know myself and I will always be busy as a dern buzzing bee. If I were not happy it would be a problem. Oddly enough I married a fellow who is very laid back and likes day dreaming..and sunsets and the like. Perhaps it has worked because we balance each other out. Our kids seem ok too despite living with what appear to be people who are at opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of need for stimulation. Excellent question I like sites that have good writing thinking prompts. Mia Lucia
I'm subbing because I want to revisit your request.
I am both. Sometimes things slow down and I get bored and sometimes I am constantly on the go. I prefer to be in the middle. My parents are in the middle. One thing I do to ensure I have a nice, relaxing, fun weekend with my daughter is............when I get home on Friday night, I get most of the laundry done while cooking dinner. We almost always have a nice dinner on Friday night. Saturday morning, I get up early and get all the cleaning done by noon. My daughter gets up around 8:00 and watches cartoons, eats breakfast and plays in her room by herself. At noon, we start our day together. By the time Sunday night rolls around, I am completely relaxed and ready for another hectic week.
In response to your comment: If you are willing to move to Dallas, I will recommend you for my job!
I am an executive/personal assistant. I work for a guy named Pete. I don't work for his company, I work for him, I'm not paid by his company, I'm paid by him personally. The other people that work for his company like to call me his work wife. I take care of the general exec. asst. duties as well as keeping his checkbook and paying all of his household bills for him, I run errands for him (buying presents, visiting dealerships and picking out and purching trucks when he needs a new farm vehicle, I keep in touch with his staff at the farm and the ranch. I am here for the people that need to talk to him when he's not available. I take care of coordinating his insurance for home, vehicle & life. I set meetings and handle all travel plans. He told me he wanted to take his wift to the Turks-Caicos island and gave me the dates, I picked the hotel and chose the beach house for him, and booked it. He loved it. It all sounds really easy and it is, but I'm always busy, always on the go, in and out of the office, but he's the most awesome boss I've ever had and he takes care of me! 
Regarding the move to NY, my husband and I were up researching on the computer until 1:00 am this morning and we are going to shoot for Bristol, CT. It's only 15-20 miles east of the area his company wants him. They don't really care where we move, they just sent him a map letting him know the area he would be working the most. By living in Bristol, I can get a decent job there or in Hartford and won't have to worry about taking a train to NYC every day and getting home so late.
On the socks: This is a bit odd, but although I hate socks, I love feet (nice, manicured feet). I don't like them on or near my face, but I do like the way some feet look. I rarely ever wear socks. It's not just my husbands socks or other people's socks. I can't stand my own. I only wear them when I work out and I can only touch the tops of them, none of the lower part of the sock!! I'm a weirdo, I know.
2 bathrooms: The reason I feel I must have two bathrooms is because I like to have one that is nice and shiny and bright for company (and for Ash) because mine usually has clothes and towels in the floor and a lot of crap on the counters. My husband does not know how to hang his towel up after he showers, he throws it in the floor, as well as his clothes. I don't pick it up. If he wants it washed, he has to pick it up and put it in the hamper. My daughters bathroom is always clean.
I think this is probably the longest comment I've ever left. Have a great Friday!!
P.S. I have a great respect for you being able to care for your family and surviving the tough times. I feel that our officers, firemen, teachers are severely underpaid. They are the people who take care of us and as you stated save our lives. The teachers are the ones who enabled the others to become doctors and lawyers and high paid executives.
from the Latin jejunus: empty stomach; fasting. My homes, I haz to luk dat wun up..I likz that wurd tho eye meyet nevah use eet ehvah...that is my word for the day...you big-vocabulary dude!
johnm
Well, my job is a rush job someday's and I work all the time. So I need to balance that with quiet, reflective time. I like to spend time watching the birds in my yard at the feeders or I go to the woods, about 2 times a week, and watch them there. It makes me slow down, catch my breathe and spend time away from people (wife and son) and with God. I believe God is easier to find in one of two places. First, in the fast paced day where you need to notice the things and people around you. Secondly, in nature. I also spend much time reading. I used to do some contemplation in the mornings but I just haven't been disciplined for a while.
Between accusing my neighbors of harboring WMDs, systematic domestic spying, and detainee torturing, I have little time left in my days.
all my life i have been too, too busy. now, jobless, i have that problem no longer. i'd love to have that problem again.
yeah, i can't wait for the theologian's next question:
Is New York City BIG?
....................
haha!
theo just posted the question on his site: Do I update too much?
ironic.
Great questions. I have to admit that I am going to burn out before I rust out. I hope it's a while away, but I am trying to avoid the "too much to do" because when that happens I run the risk of not doing anything well, and the some of tasks I choose to undertake should not be addressed half way. For example, with kids, I will put everything on the back burner and be in the moment with them, and I will put off things that are good for me to do in order to follow through for them. Sometimes I know I am cheating other areas of my life by giving myself more to do with them, but I have to believe it is worth it. Other tasks that do get the back burner, well that is where I skimp. I am ashamed to say that I do not manage expectaitons well and have let down quite a few friends and relatives by pushing them away. I have not achieved a balance that permits me to stop and smell the roses for myself as often as I'd like. But I am working toward it. There is a growing part of me that says I deserve the time to sit still and so does everyone. But even right now, as I relax reading a friend's post my legs are jumping and my to-do list awaits hash marks.
Way to get me thinking John. And ryc; you are one sweet person. And if I have let you down in my rush and flurry of things to do I apologize.
Now, I want to go check out Combover and see exactly what he's been up to.
Hey Ecc; You make a good point regarding Dan's updates.I still scan his posts in the browser but don't comment as often.I recently commented to him that I loved the way he promotes dialogue,that we could use fifty more sites doing that.I did mention it was irritating to have to scan through fifty comments saying nothing but "first","second",etc....I gain considerable value from reader's comments,but if it is a chore to chase down sensible ideas,then I'll just drift somewhere else.So if they start yelling "first" here..BAN THEM! haha ..dialogue,free speech,BAN THEM...hehe
With your poetic artistry and common sense thinkpad you'll never have a problem provoking thought.I look forward to it.
As to what type of person I am,I have no idea.I'm just starting to attempt to figure this world out,and where and how I should fit in,respond,react,proact...well,you get the idea...So let's go!...Sincere good wishes,Ecc...Peace Scott
RYC on Bookie:
Ecc. I gotta give you "appellation". I figure as long as I am given clemency for all of my grammarical turds, typos, lack of capitalization and other what not I will rescind my former statement even though it was really Julie anyway (sheesh!).
RYP: I am of the moment. I am happy being "present". Whatever I am doing right now is worthwhile to me. I believe I do project a sense of busyness but I am well-planned. Good planning is a help to me. I have been forced into it and I am grateful to the Force that roped me in as I was sure to "burn out" by 30. I also think I have an unusual capacity to manage a lot at one time. I do not mean this in a boastful way, I don't even take credit for the ability. It simply is. And you?
I will neither burn out nor rust away.
I will EXPLODE in a shower of sparks and streamers like an enormous grand finale of fireworks on the fourth of July as a result of having ONE TOO MANY idiots piss me off.
I never have enough time to do everything I want to do, read everything I want to read, write everything I want to write, or study everything I want to study.
Anna, I hope that I won't be the final idiot to piss you off.
Mybaddy and I are counting on you to teach the world to sing before you explode.
Whizbam asks about me. I have come almost full circle. When I was in my twenties I had what I thought was a very balanced life: firefighting, an honorable and decently remunerative career, afforded me the free time to pursue my many outside interests. But then in my thirties I got hit by the double whammy of depression and physical disability. Now I am, prematurely, one of those with not nearly enough to do. And I've discovered that a couple of the "cliches" are true:
(1) The stuff we have to do expands to fill the amount of time we have to do it. I get much less done now than I did when I was busy.
(2) A lack of activity makes us more tired than an overabundance of activity. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Honorable indeed. Was the physical disabllity related to firefighting?
The cliches seem right to me as well. I tend to create a project should there be an opening to avoid becoming weary. And in keeping true to the tradition of Fruehness I keep depression at bay with such projects (parent's grand soire and the like). Distraction is my medication for depression. It's different than denial, I am aware and accept what I cannot change so instead I avoid it.
Thank you for answering.
17th!
Boy, 1 and 2 certainly do have a true ring to them. I suspect that with your words and insight you will find yourself one day too busy to do the xanga tango. Things do seem to go in cycles. Some rotations just take longer than others.
And can I get an Appalachian! Anybody!
Hey Ecc; ryc...Thank you for the compliment.I appreciate it.
ryp;still don't know what the heck I am but I do have a recommendation.Follow my earlier comment's advice...yep,you're going to have to toss Booookie or your site will go to the dogs! ;-P
Sorry to hear about your disability at such an early age.Not much wonder I've seen you use various forms of "life sucks"!
Note that God did bless you with a big brain,which has to be alot better than having a tiny brain and healthy body,aka the far right loonies we've come across.Walking around with a slackened jaw,breathing through your mouth,with an empty,vacant gaze can't be that much fun!
Peace Scott
Scott is wrong. Ignorance truly is bliss. The phenomenon, that intelligence is a curse and not a blessing, is known as the "Doody Dilemma", and was identified by myself and a colleague as early as 1964. To paraphrase the slogan of the United Negro College Fund, "The mind is a terrible thing."
Hey! I thought I saw a new post with the word "cliche" and now it's gone. You are messing with my mind now aren't you? I shall keep checking then. Ignorance is bliss for the ignorant. Which is why I tend not to learn certain things, like how to install a garbage disposal. I am currently trying to figure out how to add an IM to my page, but first I had to get and IM and well, ignorance is bliss...
Thanks for the comment. And it's ok, I'm past the point where encouragement would do me a lot of good. I still appreciate your words though.
I have several things I could do with my time, but very rarely do I. I can go a week or more without even leaving my apartment. Except for a couple of visits to the bathroom, I can go an entire day planted in front of the computer or t.v. Sadly, I have no will left in me to do much else these days ..
Dear John,
Right now I am someone trying unsuccessfully to make each minute count, re-claim my feeling of self-worth with regard to my career, and find a meaningful career path. I guess that makes me someone not doing enough trying to be someone doing too much. When I am older, I hope that I will always be active, yet within reason.
D.I. Edifice
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